A Homily for Domenica in albis (low Sunday)

+ “Nisi videro in manibus ejus fixuram clavorum, et mittam digitum meum in locum clavorum, et mittam manum meam in locum clavorum, et mittam manum meam in latus ejus, non credam.” “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in His side, I will not believe.” Nisi…non credam. Unless…I will not believe.
 
These are hardly the words of an Apostle of Jesus Christ. They put conditions on faith, demanding evidence on his own terms, as it were, before he himself will deign to believe. They are words full of self-importance and self-will uttered in a frame of mind where Thomas himself is all that matters. “Unless…I will not…”
 
How often do we use the word “unless” in precisely the same way—in matters both trivial and of great importance—inserting our own conditions on what we shall or shall not accept, on what we will or will not do. How often do we murmur the words “I will not…” before retreating into the supposedly safe space of our own desires and preconditions?
 
Of course, the world is full of these words and of the self-will and conditional cooperation that they convey. We contract business in precisely this way: I will do this if I receive that in return. I will not agree to anything unless my preconditions are met and my own interests are advanced. In a sense, this is quite normal, and one can sympathise somewhat with St Thomas—particularly after what was probably the most traumatic week of his life thus far—in reverting to the use of the language of the world: Nisi…non credam. Unless…I will not believe.
 
But let us be clear. This is the language of the world, not that of God. And as St John teaches us in the Epistle of this Holy Mass: “Whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” “This is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith.” Here we have the crux of the matter.
 
For if I live according to the self-interested standards of the world, if “Unless…” and “…I will not,” are constantly on my lips, there is no room for God in my heart, mind and soul. A marriage where these words constantly echo in the minds of the spouses will quickly end in shipwreck. A young man or woman considering a vocation to the monastic, religious or priestly life who continually lays down their own conditions, stating what they will or will not accept, is in grave danger of falling into a narcissistic spiral of almost perpetual discernment which renders them unable to hear the still, small voice of the Lord’s call. (cf. I Kings 19:12) Those in formation or those who are professed or ordained who begin to seek comfort in these egoistical conditions are headed for ruin.
 
For whether our vocation is to be married or to the monastic, religious, ordained or single life, “I” and my conditions are not the first concern. In fact, they matter very little. Quite often they merit the sharp rebuke given to St Peter by Our Lord: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me; for you are not on the side of God, but of men.” (Mt. 16:23) For a vocation, any vocation, the Christian vocation that is ours by virtue of our baptism and the particular vocation given to each of us by Almighty God, is about my giving myself entirely to the service of God without condition. The words “Unless…I will not…” have no place on the lips of a Christian.
 
Our Lord did not rebuke the worldly incredulity of St Thomas as he rebuked St Peter. Rather, he appeared to him and said, seemingly with great tenderness and affection: “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing.”
 
Through the Sacred Liturgy of His Church, with the same love and affection, Our Lord says those same words to each one of us this morning: “Do not be faithless, but believing.” No matter how many times we have murmured and rebelled with self-serving attitudes and wilful conditions that refuse His plans for us, no matter how frequently we have refused to allow the reality of faith in Jesus Christ gloriously risen from the dead to transform our petty minds and selfish concerns, this morning He over whom death has no power looks at us, and loves us (cf. Mk 10:21 ) and says to us: “Do not be faithless, but believing.”
 
These words transformed St Thomas into a great Apostle of Christ. As we now approach the altar to participate anew in the Supper of the Lamb (cf. Rev. 19:6-9) let us ask that these words take root in our hearts, minds and souls and transform us, thereby bearing much fruit in the particular vocation that is ours. +